PSL for gotyourselfapilot

[nolongerbensolo]

Kylo Ren looked around the Resistance base as he stood beside his mother, studying everything surrounding him slowly, unsure. He followed after her, keeping his head down and trying to ignore the looks and thoughts others around him were shooting his way. It was the last thing he needed. He still wasn't even sure why he let Rey talk him into this. Even if she had talked about his mother and his childhood best friend, this just seemed like a very bad idea.

Even so, he continued to follow the General until they reached a meeting room. He stepped in behind her, preparing to find himself face to face with other leaders of the Resistance, but instead he found himself looking at only Poe. He frowned a bit, looking confused as he took a step back. "General Organa I don't..." He still wasn't quite comfortable with calling her anything other than her title just yet, but he stopped speaking when she raised a hand. "I think you both need to...talk. To catch up." She said before turning and heading towards the door.

He looked back at Poe before shaking his head. Surely the pilot would want nothing to do with him now. Not after he had tortured him for the whereabouts of his BB-8 unit.

Comments

[gotyourselfapilot]

When Poe had heard that Kylo Ren was coming to the Resistance he wasn't sure what to think. Rey had been so sure that she could convince him. Told him what she had believed and still believed. He was also in shock and surprise over realizing that Kylo Ren was Ben Solo. An old childhood friend that had gone dark sided, for what cause? It had been because of Snoke surely but hearing the next tale of Luke Skywalker coming from Rey in actual truth and not hiding it. Hope could have shuttered. Poe had believed that getting a Jedi on their side would be helpful, he didn't think it would be Rey being that Jedi. The Resistance all had been told the tales of Luke Skywalker. One mistake without an explanation can hurt so many. Yet someone having all of that conflict with no support and struggle.

Poe got angry first knowing that Kylo Ren had killed his own father, wanting to get rid of the rest of the Resistance and the past. He could have chosen a different path, a different course. It came now and it left him in frustration. He wanted nothing more than to see this man again while in a jail cell. But knowing who he was now. He's sitting in a room at a table still frustrated over a lot of things. Leia could have told him countless of times, she kept it away hidden, probably because it could have hurt a bunch of people. Poe had been betrayed before by someone amongst his group and he kept saying that the big moral questions were best left to someone like General Leia.

Perhaps, now with trying to keep his head on straight he'll be able to make a decision on his own. Hear it from Kylo Ren, from his old childhood best friend. It might not mean everything goes right away but he may be more understanding of this decision. Seeing Kylo Ren in the same room, he couldn't help but look back at him. Leia made a point of talking to each other. He would at least try for her sake and Rey's. Leia seemed to have some hope left after everything she's been through.

"Now I understand why you brought up things would go less awkwardly in that interrogation room before what you did. But you knew I wasn't going to give the location of the map easily. Were you afraid of seeing things other than the location of where that map was?"

[nolongerbensolo]

He watched his mother leave, the door sliding shut behind her before he sighed as Poe spoke. His eyes closed for a moment before he turned and slowly walked over to the table, taking a seat across from the pilot who had once been considered his best friend. "You didn't even know who I was. You didn't recognize me...I knew if I...if those memories had been dredged up you would know and...it would make what I needed to do even harder. I didn't want to do any of that! I needed to find the droid though." He said softly before leaning back in his seat.

"The Supreme Leader was counting on me...to find the map. To find Luke and...end my..." How could he even begin to truly explain? "I was meant to sever all ties to my past. Anything that could pull me from his side. Not that it matters anymore." The voice that had been in his head since he was a boy was gone now and it had left behind a void he was unsure he wanted filled. "I doubt that anything I say could change what I've done and I understand that. I don't know why the General thinks this will...help anything, but I have turned my back on the First Order. I will do what I must to prove myself..."

[gotyourselfapilot]

Poe only shifted straighter in his chair as Ren took a seat across from him. He couldn't help it since he wanted to know he wasn't going to back down from this. It was hard to believe a lot of this yet, Snoke was a mystery being from the get go to him. All he really knew was that he was at the top of the First Order. This would only leave General Hux in control if the other was here. But... was there anyone else? "I didn't. I never saw your face in full. Not until clearly now. Your mother didn't even tell me. Probably with a good reason. Are you... Are you trying to tell me that all of this was from no choice?"

He hands curl into fits as he places them on the table in front of him. Poe couldn't believe that there had to have been choices made by Kylo Ren specifically. Somewhere, what were those? "You... killed Han Solo, your father. You could have made a choice but if this Supreme Leader really had that full control over you... then... I can understand, make sense of your decisions that you made." Kylo Ren may not have been the only one getting controlled by the First Order. Poe had once heard of no choice once before.

A small shaky sigh leaves his lips as he moves a hand to run through his hair. Poe looks right at the man across from him. "Was there any decisions you actually made? Without the fear of something happening to you if you didn't? Or was joining us your actual first decision you made truly on your own?"

Poe shakes his head a little at Kylo Ren. "If General Organa believes this to be helpful, she may have a reason for us to talk in this matter. I've... ignored enough of her orders or suggestions." He was going to start listening to Leia more. This was a step in that direction.

[nolongerbensolo]

There was silence between them for a long moment. "There were...choices I was allowed to make, but not many. There's a...lot I've never told anyone. Not even you when we were younger. Snoke was...in my head for a very long time." He sighed, closing his eyes. "Not killing you was the first thing I did...that was my choice. I was supposed to kill you as soon as I was done with the interrogation. I didn't. I...I couldn't. Had it been anyone but you...I had more choice in that than what happened on Starkiller Base."

With his father. Killing Han, he had thought for just a moment that he could stop himself, that Han would stop him but somewhere in those seconds they were looking at one another the lightsaber had done just exactly what Snoke had wanted it to do. He could still feel it, could hear the exhale when it pierced the man's body before he fell. He closed his eyes, turning his head as he remembered it. "Snoke would have never let me go if he were still alive. When Rey asked me....at first I was going to say no...until I realized that I could make my own choice without fear of punishment from him."

[gotyourselfapilot]

Poe presses his lips together as he hears Ren out. A lot of it sounded really strange but he didn't really know much about the dark side or what the Force was really capable of doing. He had believed that the Galaxy worked in mysterious ways. A First Order stormtrooper had saved him from a chair that he thought he would surely die on. He didn't have much more information to give besides for the Resistance base but that question wasn't even asked of him. Maybe Ren didn't really want it knowing it would lead him to his mother. He shuts his eyes as he felt them growing hot. Had Ren really helped in a matter that the Galaxy worked for him? Because he couldn't kill him, some hope happened in another way.

"I... I thought I was a dead man in that chair. When a stormtrooper showed up saying he was taking me to Kylo Ren ... I was certain my end would come. But that's not what had happened. It turned out to be a rescue. I technically owe my life to you if what you're saying is true."

That's what's going to matter in this conversation. Poe could feel that he opens his eyes and knows that there could be wet but he didn't care. He was slightly angry, frustrated, there's a lot of emotion to take in at once. "Now that you're free from that fear perhaps you won't have anything clouding your judgement. Rey wouldn't tell me somethings. Especially this one when I asked her. She told me I should ask you. What happened to Snoke?"

[nolongerbensolo]

"I have no way of showing you whether it was the truth or not. I can only tell you. I couldn't kill you. I was...trying to figure out a way to get you out of there when the Stormtrooper rescued you himself." He said, shaking his head before listening to what Poe wanted to ask.

And then he leaned back a bit in the seat, taking a breath as he thought about what to say. He could at least be thankful to Rey that she wasn't telling everyone the story, that she was at least letting him tell it. He scrubbed a hand over his face before smiling slightly. "Well, he was...busy with Rey. He was distracted. He'd taken the lightsaber she had and ordered me to kill her but instead I..." He swallowed, tensing up a bit as he finished telling.

"I used the Force to turn on her lightsaber. I cut Snoke in half with it..."

[gotyourselfapilot]

"I understand that. I have to take everything you say and judge it on my own." Poe glances down at the table at his hands as he speaks. It's hard enough for him to accept a lot of this. But if... But if he had been in the same position as Ben clearly had been. Poe could have been doing the same things. If Leia hadn't continued to tell him to start thinking differently he would have killed more of the Resistance without realizing that's all they had. The First Order could have much more troops on stand by somewhere else.

Rey didn't have to tell the story herself. Poe had been finding out a lot of things by the people he's meant to find out from. Besides for Kylo Ren and who he truly was, he needed to at least know that before the other came here. "So, you killed Snoke and freed yourself from his torment. Basically setting yourself free to make decisions. Did your anger continue to move you though after that?"

"You could have told Rey no when she asked you to come here. But you didn't." He looks up at the other. "Not everything you did could be forgiven. But... I've never been in a position where I've had no choice in that matter. I've had more freedoms from the way you speak. Leia once told me that... this was about everyone. Not just her and me. But everyone." It made sense to him now that she probably meant Kylo Ren in all of this. Yet he hadn't had known that Ben Solo was Kylo Ren.

"It's hard to make a judgement on someone whose been constantly showing darkness to suddenly stepping into the Light. But... change can shake things up and make people see what they've been missing."

[nolongerbensolo]

"Did I still have anger? Feel anger? Yes...but after he was dead..." There was a long pause there as he stared at the table before sighing. "I didn't feel it as strongly as I had before. I didn't feel like my anger was in control of me anymore. I felt...like a weight had been lifted. In my mind as well." He said softly before nodding. "I know that I can't ask forgiveness for the things I've done. Not most of them. I can only hope that as I...show that I am no longer that man anymore, everyone else will see the change. I am a different person now."

He pushed himself up, staring at Poe. "I know what I did to you. I know that...I could have done worse, but I didn't want to. All I can say is that I am sorry for torturing you, but I did what...." He dropped off, letting his head fall, eyes shutting as he felt the familiar sting of tears behind them. His voice cracked slightly when he spoke again, eyes opening to reveal the telltale glassyness. "It might not be enough, but I did what I could to...to be fast. I hated it though. And if I could...go back and have a chance to change it...I would have. I would have left you on Jakku."

[gotyourselfapilot]

"Keep on to that hope and maybe people might start believing you're a different man. It'll take a lot of time. For a lot of them. A lot of us believed Luke Skywalker would help us. I journey for a map to his location for so long. And yet what exactly became of that?" Poe sighs heavily as he shuts his eyes again. This time a few tears roll down because he can't hold them back. He wants to believe that Kylo Ren was a different person. He sounded different. Not trapped behind a mask. The words sounded true.

He shakes his head while opening his eyes to look at the man across from him. "No, leaving me behind on Jakku would have only gotten you in trouble. Wasn't your Captain there on that planet? Could you really have trusted her to not tell someone about your actions? They all knew who I was working for, who I was with. There was no escape and I was the dumb one for shooting at you carelessly. I accepted my failure when that interrogation was done. I... I don't like talking about that incident. I barely spoke about it to anyone. What you did to me... it'll take time to get over. You could dig for any secret and take it from me. But you can prove to me that you don't have to do it that way. Talking is a good start."

[nolongerbensolo]

"I never want to do that to anyone. Ever again." He said softly before shaking his head. "And I know it could have gotten me into trouble, but in the end it would have been my choice. As soon as I saw you...I should have let you run. I was so...focused on the anger and hate then. And it only became worse when I saw it was you. I didn't know then that the General hadn't told anyone who I was. I thought you knew, but I realized you didn't after I removed my mask." He explained, straightening up a bit.

"I don't know if we...could ever be what we were. A man like me doesn't have friends, but I would like to try." It was the only thing he had left to offer, but he honestly didn't expect Poe to take it. To ever want to be friends with him ever again, but he could hope. And that was the main thing he held on to anymore. He had to hope that someday things would be better and not just for him, for all of them. If he could help that in any way, he was going to do his best to make it happen.

[gotyourselfapilot]

"You don't need to focus on that anger or hate now. I believe what you're saying to me. As much as I'm frustrated by everyone keeping some kind of secret. It's all with a reason. A reason that I may not understand or like. Jakku is a place where we all begun on for this. Rey, you, me, Finn. We can all do something different. Maybe join together to end this. But it's got to be what you want." Poe's mind was probably not functioning completely with everything being said. With the events of this day continuing to spiral further.

He gets up from the chair slowly moving around the table to stand close to the other man. Poe leans against it while moving down a little to really at him and be on the same level as him. "You need friends. You need support. We could probably start over. Our friendship back then... it meant a lot to me. I'm sure it meant a lot for you too. I'm sure if we weren't friends... you would have killed me. I would have been just another pilot for the Resistance. Not someone you already knew. Not someone you had to make a choice for. I can't throw that hope away. You're gonna need help. But you're gonna have to find a way within this place yourself too. Even if it takes time. Even if people don't understand and I..."

There's a long pause as he presses his lips together contemplating. "I'll try my best at making sure you get the help you need. Even if it may be just from astromechs."

[nolongerbensolo]

At first he looked nervous when the other man came closer. It was a sad thing to see that it was painfully obvious that Kylo Ren was not used to kindness of any kind. He honestly expected violence because he'd become so accustomed to it. Snoke had offered very little in the way of praise. Most of the things he had done to Ren had been...painful. Punishments or ways he claimed would make the other stronger. Either way, all he had remembered was pain.

Even when his mother came close, he flinched away and every time he saw how it pained her, but he couldn't help it. There had been no affection in his life in years. So it would take time for him to get used to having people close without getting hurt in some way.

"Thank you, Poe." He said softly, keeping his eyes down after a moment.

[gotyourselfapilot]

Being aggressive now wouldn't make a difference. Kylo Ren wasn't about to hurt him or do anything to him. He would have already done it while he was sitting across from him. If he did things on accident that's different. Controlling anger, any anger, would be the toughest challenge for the other. That was all Poe's thinking. He couldn't always control his own anger and frustrations.

Poe in general was affectionate around his friends. Clapping hands on their shoulders, sharing hugs when he hasn't seen them in a long time, conversing with them about anything and everything.

"Before we leave this room... is there anything else you would want to talk about? Or ask?"

[nolongerbensolo]

He thought about it, standing there and then biting his lip. He smiled a bit then, feeling silly for thinking of it but he actually had been a bit curious about them. "How is...the tree?" He murmured quietly. It surely wasn't important and Poe would likely think it was weird that he was asking, but maybe it would be a way to really break the ice and start them on the path towards being at least comfortable with one another.

"I've thought about the tree and...about...us a lot lately. Even when I tried not to. I had to be careful...Snoke thought it was because you got away and I wanted revenge for that. It was the easiest way to keep you safe." He huffed, looking down again. "He was so angry...he thought you were able to keep me out of certain parts of your mind. He said it would have been so useful if I would have gotten more from you than just the map...and he was right. It would have been useful to the First Order, but I wasn't going to...lead them to you. To mo....General Organa."

[gotyourselfapilot]

Kylo Ren's question wasn't silly. Poe could only offer a small smile to it. Yavin 4 was a place that was easy to visit and to drop off a ship when he needed to use another one. "The tree should be fine the last time I was on Yavin 4 there wasn't anything wrong with it. Maybe... Maybe once there's some trust you'll be able to go there to see it. So that you have a connection to the Force in a different way." When he hears the other stuff coming from Kylo Ren he could feel that hope and warm spreading in his chest.

He sounded happy while speaking while also frustrated with the situation he was in. Poe knew this could probably be all a trick. Yet at the same time he wanted to keep believing that the other man was truly trying to change. That he could change. "The only thing I was being interrogated on was the location of the map. I resisted that question until you showed up no matter how quick you were. You were fast and never came back for more questioning. You could have but then the First Order would have known how to get to General Organa too. I can believe that you were trying to make choices were you could before bad things happened."

He stays close but doesn't move to reach out to touch him as he would have anyone else. Poe wasn't sure how Kylo Ren would feel about the kindness. "You should know that no one is gonna hurt you here. Some might because they are pissed but then they'll be answering to Leia. Most people might just be very vocal over their feelings. If you keep telling them you won't hurt them they'll start listening and maybe treat you better too. This isn't gonna be an easy road for you. But I want you to seek me out if it gets too bad."

[nolongerbensolo]

"I would like that..once you're ready." He said, still watching him for a moment. He turned a bit and his arm accidentally brushed against Poe and the reaction was instant. he jerked back, flinching like he was expecting to be punished. "I...sorry." He straightened up, his frown deepening as he took a step backwards. "I couldn't let them know how to get to you or her. Han..he was..." He sighed. "I regret what happened then. I can't...nothing I could say could explain to you what happened. General Organa seems to understand, but I don't think she really does. She just wants to believe."

He swallowed, clearing his throat as his fingers lightly brushed at the edge of the table. "I can hear their thoughts most of the time. Everyone knows I'm a Force user, that sometimes...I can pick up thoughts, especially when they project. Its a lot of hate and...threatening things, but I know how to handle myself."

[gotyourselfapilot]

"Hopefully in a few months. I just want... to be sure." Poe doesn't mind the accidentally brush, he tenses a little but also realizes the flinching immediately. A frown slowly starts to form. "It's... okay." For a moment he contemplates on being brave but then Kylo Ren goes on to talk about Han. He knew that choice could have been the others fully. "She may understand because there's nothing we can do to bring him back. Loss is a thing that happens in wars. It's not romantic. People don't come back. Loved ones don't." He couldn't help but reach up to his neck to brush his fingers against the necklace chain. Poe learned at a young age about what that meant.

There was still so much of the Force he didn't know wanted to know. Rey told him a few things but he still didn't quite understand. Being able to hear thoughts all the time could drive anyone insane. "I know you can handle yourself." Poe's going to be brave this time. He slowly reaches out with a hand and gently places it one of Kylo's shoulders. He gives it a small squeeze. "I just want you to go to people to speak to them if it becomes unbearable. Rey, me, General Organa."

[nolongerbensolo]

He watched Poe touch the necklace and nodded, looking down again. This time when the touch came, it was unexpected and he did tense, but when nothing followed except for the reassuring squeeze he lifted his eyes, staring at Poe. There was hope there, in his eyes, and it was almost heartbreakingly dim, but still there. "I will. I won't suffer it alone. I...I will talk to you or...someone." He said softly, turning more towards Poe. "Thank you, Poe. You don't...understand what this means to me." He admitted softly before finally turning even more and taking a chance. He pressed closer, actually hugging the other man.

And it was like a weight lifted. He let out a breath, shaking a bit and obviously still nervous just to be touching someone else. "And I'm sorry. About the flinching. I'm just..not used to touch. Not without...um...without pain."

[gotyourselfapilot]

Poe looked at his eyes seeing that bit of hope coming back into them. That darkness within them earlier slowly fading. Surely with enough confidence and help this could work. It still would be slow, new, since everything that happened couldn't be completely written off. But if a small bit of light was there, it could continue to grow. "Suffering it alone may not help you. Hope is hard to hold onto sometimes. But it's something that can't go away into the darkness." He feels himself tense but tries to relax shortly after. "I think I do. Even if I may have been angry and frustrated at everything. Most of it at you but the rest at others. Hearing you explain everything though brings out something else. I can tell you've been in pain. No one should have had to go through that."

When the hug happens he didn't expect it at first. Kylo Ren was always a dark ghoulish creature in the back of his mind. Not the childhood friend he once knew, maybe, now that he was free to make choices. That old friend was really truly there. Poe slowly wraps his arms around him to hug him back. "I can't believe you were there this entire time. But I understand the reaction now. Your mother won't hurt you, you know."

[nolongerbensolo]

He really did seem to relax under the touch, starved for it as he was. When he pulled away he was smiling, a real, genuine smile. "I know she won't. Its just...I can still feel it sometimes. Not really, but I remember it." He explained, sighing quietly and brushing his fingers through his hair slowly. "No one even knew I was alive except for a handful of people. General Organa, Han, Unc...Luke. And I think they told Chewbacca. Other than that, no one was allowed to know. She didn't want them to."

He looked down, shaking his head. "I think she hoped I would come back before now. Before everything happened, before anyone found out. She would have found some way to make it seem like I was back from the dead, like I'd hidden myself away."

[gotyourselfapilot]

Poe could feel him relax within it after a while. Once they pull away he notices the genuine smile. A smile comes across his own lips. He couldn't help it. "Something like that will be hard to push back." Poe backs away a little to give them a bit of room so he could continue to look at him as he spoke. "The more I think about it... it could have been bad to tell the Resistance. It could have diminished the hope even further. A bunch of trust could have been broken. If I didn't do certain decisions myself... I could have still been in the New Republic. Maybe re-stationed on Hosnian Prime."

His eyebrows knit together as he looks down at that. "Maybe she didn't know how much control Snoke truly had over yo. She must have wanted you to come back. But... you were with Luke. If she sent you to him... and things happened. You probably felt you had no where else to go. And I... I would have been with the New Republic at that time. Probably getting ready to go to the Mirrin base."

[nolongerbensolo]

"Well...as much as I wish I could change things, I'm glad we've at least ended up back here...like this." He said softly, nodding a bit before sighing. "I think I'm going to go find my quarters. General Organa wanted me to stay with her, but I told her I don't want any kind of special treatment. I want to prove myself first." He said, straightening up. "Maybe you could ask here where I'm meant to be placed though? Otherwise...I have no clue where I'm going."

He smiled sheepishly, blushing a bit and then looking away. He looked back at him, watching him for a long moment. "Poe...really, thank you. For giving me this chance..well, any chance again. It means so much to me. Our friendship...is something I honestly missed more than I can explain."

[gotyourselfapilot]

"I know that you can't change past things. It's just something we're all going to have to live with. You more so." He wanted to tell him at least this much. "I could tag along to help you find them. Unless you truly want to go on your own. General Organa could just be worried that something could happen to you. She wouldn't want to lose you again after you came back on your own." Poe gives a small shrug. "Well... some people do a lot of maintenance work before a mission comes up that they'll be most suited for. Cleaning normally."

One of his old friends had manipulated him and she was doing a janitors job for a long while. But one day she had the opportunity to prove herself. Help the Resistance in a good way versus handing them over for information and a good chunk of money. Poe could feel himself blush at bit by all of this. He shakes his head a little. "It is really hard to believe and to accept. I... I wanted Kylo Ren to be in jail. But knowing that Ben Solo was him... it's a lot to reconsider. I'm sure having a bigger conflict within wasn't easy for you. I missed our friendship too. I hoped to run into you again. Not like this though. But... sometimes things just happen for a reason."

[nolongerbensolo]

"You want to tag along? Alright." He said, nodding before turning towards the door. He looked at Poe though, making sure the other knew he was listening to him. They stepped out of the room and he looked around, immediately spotting his mother. She hadn't gone far, in case things got intense between them and she smiled when she saw both men walking out of the room.

She turned, approaching them before sighing. "So you two have talked then? Is....have you worked things out the best that you both can?" She asked them, looking from her son to Poe and back again. Kylo Ren looks at Poe for a moment, clearing his throat before nodding. "I think we have."

[gotyourselfapilot]

"I can take care of myself if something happens." He knows the Resistance would probably be shocked by the display. But Poe would at least seem okay with following Kylo Ren around. He could even show him where certain things were before getting to the quarters. Poe did step out with him and was a bit surprised by finding Leia so close by.

It was a different sight to see Leia seem equally worried about this. And she seemed determined to make sure that this could work. Poe gives a small nod as well while looking at her. "The best we could. You don't need to worry. We'll make it work."

[nolongerbensolo]

He looked between them before clearing his throat. "Poe offered to show me around. You never...told me where my quarters are." He said, keeping his eyes down a bit instead of meeting the General's. She explained, letting them both know that she had put him in quarters not far from Poe's. Just in case things had gone well, and now she was certainly glad they had.

He nodded before turning to look at Poe, tilting his head. "Shall we?" He asked, straightening up before stopping to look back at his mother. "I would like to...join you for dinner." She nodded, smiling softly before letting the two men go.

[gotyourselfapilot]

Poe nodded at that he offered to show Kylo Ren around. It was true he looked at any one that was standing around the hallway. He looks at Leia while waiting for her to explain exactly where the other would be staying. His lips part a bit in shock because he could never tell if the General always knew these outcomes or just had a lot of hope for them.

"Uh, yeah, we should." He rubs the back of his neck a little before giving them some space so they can have a little free moment on their own. Poe glances up toward Kylo Ren with a small smile as they were away enough from the General's hearing. "Who knew your quarters would be so close to mine. But she always seems to keep on amazing me with these things."

[nolongerbensolo]

"Knowing her...she did it on purpose in hopes that our talk would go well. So that I would have someone to be close to besides her...and Rey." He said, clearing his throat a bit. He moved with Poe, letting the man show him around a bit before stopping to sit down for a small break, he found a place out of the way, away from the people they'd been walking past and around all day and he bent, pressing his fingers to his temples as his eyes shut tightly.

"Sorry I just...I need a minute." He breathed out, swallowing hard. None of the comments coming at him had been verbal, but they had been just as acidic all the same. Hate pouring from almost every person they'd seen except for a select few who only exuded fear and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

[gotyourselfapilot]

"True, she could have done it just so we could talk if this talk didn't work out. At least you're being honest on who would be close." Poe though would try to stay close to him. Maybe the other Resistance members would ease off a bit that way. Although, he could see in their stares, their faces that they would take a lot of time too. Some even gave him questioning looks but Poe only shrugged at them while not letting it get to him. It was his choice after all.

There's a look of concern but he knew that Kylo would be sensitive towards a lot that he didn't completely understand. The break was alright honestly and when they were out of the way. He seemed a bit relieve too. Poe stays close to him before putting a hand carefully on the other's shoulder. "Take all that you time you need. If we need to wait longer here, that's okay."

[nolongerbensolo]

He looked up at the hand on his shoulder, locking eyes with Poe for a long moment before forcing a smile. "Thank you. It was just...all a lot to take. I don't blame them, but it doesn't make it any easier." He said before reaching up and covering Poe's hand with his own. He gave it a slight squeeze before continuing to sit quietly for several more minutes. Finally he took a deep breath and stood, clearing his throat. "Come on. You have more to show me around the base."

He stepped out of the small room, waiting for Poe to come as well to continue showing him around. "I know the general will want to have dinner with me publicly. To show people that she is on my side...and to show them I'm on yours. You are welcome to join us. It might make things easier."

[gotyourselfapilot]

Poe gives a small encouraging smile as they locked eyes. "You're doing good with coming over to a small room. All of these thoughts could have made you angry or push that way. I'm sure their emotions aren't easy to take." Disappointment was one that could break anyone. There's only so much one could take. "Yeah, there's a bit more places."

He followed after him staying close as they continued forward around the base. "That's a good move to make on General Organa's part. So far you've been at least showing no sign of aggression. I should if you think it'll help. Rey would probably be there too."

[nolongerbensolo]

"I would like it if you both were. Rey...she may not be the first friend I ever had, but she has done her best to try. Even if I'm not the easiest person to deal with." He admitted, a small smile turning his lips.

"Thank you though. For giving me another chance. For...taking the time to even consider it."

[gotyourselfapilot]

"Both of us. It would help you. I don't know about another. Everything seems tense and it'll be like that for a while. The Resistance may not like having two people that can make them sit on the edge of their seats." Poe knew that Leia would be every time he had gone on a mission.

"I want to believe in the words that you told me. The only way to do that is to see that you mean them. That would mean giving you another chance. Even if it means taking it all slow and build up on it."

[nolongerbensolo]

He nodded, smiling softly. "Still, thank you. You could have decided to keep your distance, to just...watch me like everyone else." He said quietly as they continued to move. He stopped again, once more, though this time it seemed like something else was bothering him.

His fingers pressed to his forehead and then his temple, rubbing slowly. "Sorry. I get headaches...now that...that he is gone. When you live with something most of your life and suddenly its gone...its hard."

[gotyourselfapilot]

"You're right. I could have kept my distance, but, I feel that we've done that enough. Including watching." Poe knows they waited for the First Order to make a move. Starkiller certainly was a move they didn't see coming neither did the New Republic. He was sure they could fail easily.

The sudden stop again is concerning. It makes Kylo Ren seem vulnerable and it makes him want to stay around as well as look around for any threats. Poe gives a nod in understanding. "If you had someone in your head for that long, I'm sure you're finally hearing your own thoughts for once." He grins a bit. "I bet they're loud because that's how you tend to be."

[nolongerbensolo]

He looked at him, smiling and chuckling softly. "Maybe how I used to be. Unless I'm angry...I tend not to be very loud anymore." He said, just leaning against the wall for a long moment. When he pushed away he pushed his fingers through his hair. "Think we could find something to eat? I've been holding off just because I wasn't sure I wanted to go alone, but I need to eat something. Even just a snack."

He tilted his head, bringing his hands away from his face, obviously feeling just a little bit better.

[gotyourselfapilot]

Poe is a bit worried at first that it might have been too much. He didn't expect a chuckle at first and he's a bit surprised. But a small grin begins to show on his lips. "So your thoughts aren't loud? If you're not loud I'm sure you'll be able to scare someone by how quiet you are instead." He wasn't sure how he would feel about getting snuck up on. However, it would be an interesting sight to see. "I might have something in my quarters, unless you really wanted to try the mess hall."

There's pressing of lips as he gave him the offer. Maybe he's a bit nervous, but not intimidated. Poe was sure he had a few snack foods or even a Koyo melon from home within his quarters. He was willing to share.

[nolongerbensolo]

He hesitated, tilting his head a bit before nodding. "If you're sure that you're okay with that." He murmured quietly, clearing his throat as he leaned against the wall across from him. "I would...like that though. Maybe spending time with you instead of...going where there will be a bunch of people for the time being."

[gotyourselfapilot]

Poe gives a small shrug while rubbing the back of his neck. "I didn't really think when I asked you. I am okay with it. I'm not intimidated." He raises an eyebrow at that line while biting his bottom lip. Truthfully he wasn't but he's being his normal kind self toward an old friend. "One step at a time. You would have a lot of eyes on you still. Spending time together won't be a bad thing. If that's what you want to do."

[nolongerbensolo]

He studied Poe for a long moment, trying to gauge whether he truly meant it or not without reading his thoughts. He didn't want to be that person anymore, didn't want to invade people's minds forcefully, even if sometimes it was easier. He knew he couldn't help skimming, especially when so many people tended to think loudly but with Poe he could do his best not to.

"Only if you really are sure. I don't think that you are intimidated. I just know that with...everything that I have done in the past...it can't exactly be an easy thing to want to spend time with me." He said, shrugging a shoulder. "I know I certainly wouldn't want to spend time with someone like me."

[gotyourselfapilot]

Poe had meant what he said. He seems a bit nervous as the staring as if the hair at the back of his neck rose. But there didn't seem to be any danger or any kind of invading. If anything Kylo would pick up he was being honest. His quarters had snacks and would be away from the people in the more crowded areas.

"You told me you didn't want to be that person. We could go towards all the people and their thoughts and stares or... we can go to my quarters and you can have a snack there in quiet before dinner with all the people including your mother." He shakes his head a bit while looking at him. "Wouldn't that be giving up though? I'm walking with you already... that's almost like spending time."

[nolongerbensolo]

He really thought about the situation and what Poe was saying before nodding. "Come on. I'm not giving up and...people need to see me. I can't just hide out all the time and hope that everyone leaves me alone. I can't. I know that." He said, straightening up and forcing a nervous smile. "Lets go grab something and you can keep showing me around. I mean, if there is anything else to see."

After a few moments he chuckled, having turned to walk away. "You know...maybe we could play sabacc. I do have a deck in my things. And a few other games as well. Its something to help pass the time."

[gotyourselfapilot]

"No one can miss you. You're probably the tallest around at the moment." Unless Chewie was around but Kylo would be hard to miss for anyone. Poe gives a reassuring smile at him. "Fine, we'll go grab something and continue venturing around. There probably isn't much more to see really."

He raises an eyebrow at him a bit surprised. "I haven't had the time to sit down and play card games. What other games?"

[nolongerbensolo]

"I've also got chatta-ragul, shah-tezh, triga, chess...umm..." He bit his lip as he thought about what else he has before shrugging. "I also have horansi. It would be fun to play anything though. I haven't played in a very long time." And honestly, besides games he felt he'd had to force out of First Order soldiers, the last time he'd remembered playing any of them was with Poe or his mother.

"It would be good. I could bring cards or one of the boards with us later. Perhaps it might encourage others to join..."